monologue and short story

ethan77777 |

“I need you to know that I am going to be okay. I need you to know that all the sorrow I am feeling is the manifestation of my love, passion, and heartbreak I feel for you. You are such a wonderful person. You give while you never take. You listen while you never demand attention for yourself. I have never known someone quite like you.

 I wish I never did. 

There was always something about you that I could never put my finger on. It was alluring and charming; it was a shadow, obvious but deceptive. It was always present; I could sense it stalking me as we walked into the sunset, holding hands, merry as we walked in laughter. You had the most beautiful laugh. It was soft and sweet, a laugh that was not proud or haughty, but sincere. And your smile. Oh how it made me tingle. Your smile was radiant as the summer sun, light and airy as the spring grass in the wind. You were so supportive in all my times of need, my immovable rock that sheltered me in the storm. I depended on you. You were always there. Why did you have to make this so hard? 

It was when the raindrops started hitting my skin that I began noticing the holes in your shield. You did not notice that though. These holes were always there, I just never noticed them. If I was more observant I would have been suspicious earlier, it would have spared me all this pain. But you fooled me. I was infatuated by your charm. 

It started with the constant deflection. You never answered my questions. In my daftness I assumed it to be a part of your charismatic personality. I never pushed you to answer because I was delighted that a guy finally wanted to listen to me talk all about myself. Looking back, I realize what you did to me. I knew nothing about you a year after we met. You knew everything about me though. Was this all a part of your plan? 

When I finally met your friends and family, the truth began to hit me. None of them actually knew who you were either. I asked you friends: they told me you worked at a farm. They told me all about how you loved working with the cows and the pigs. I heard from them that you sowed, tended, and harvested the crops all by hand because the farm could not afford the more efficient farm equipment. Yet you always took me out to the fanciest restaurants, ordering the best wine and insisting on paying the bill. Where did the money come from? When I look at you, your hands are soft, lacking the callouses that should be there from the farm. You never even had a tan. I then asked your parents: they told me you were a public defendant at a law firm. They told me that you stood up for the poor, the homeless, and the marginalized. I heard that you were the kindest lawyer to ever exist. Yet when I told you my cousin was wrongly accused of theft and could not afford a lawyer, you did not speak up. Why have you always lied to me? Do you find pleasure in creating the facade of a perfect man, only to watch women slowly discover the truth and descend into madness because of it? Are you so traumatized that you are obsessed with living out the life of a murder mystery? 

Please tell me that your life is in such a miserable state that you would die of embarrassment if it was to be known. Please tell me you are a fugitive running from the law, using me to blend in and stay safe. I need a reason to hate you, because I love you.”

SHORT STORY

The lake shimmers in the wind, a vermillion flag folding and cresting in the breeze. Low in the sky, the sun reaches its crescendo and magnificent colors take stage before the curtain falls and the stage drops into darkness. There are two people, silhouettes from our perspective, sitting on top of the hill, watching. They don’t move. They remain there for quite some time, clearly enjoying the show. They still don’t move when it’s over though; we never saw them move. In the morning they are gone. Before the sun rose once again, we travelled to the hill to see if they were still there. We were worried of course that they might have been killed. When we got there we saw a torn blanket and pieces of food scattered about the grass. There was broken glass on the blanket and it appeared to have caused the dark stain on the white blanket. It appeared to us that the couple were having a lovely picnic. That is all we saw. We went back down the hill and headed towards the city center. The city center was a place we generally avoided because the people who lived there did not like us very much. There was a long history between both our groups, which did not favour us at all. It all started when Fabio took the boss’s daughter. The boss was infuriated that his daughter was anywhere near our group of hooligans, much more so when word got out what he did to her. The order for his head went out the next morning, the bounty was so large that even we considered turning him in. And that’s what we did. A few hours later we drugged Fabio and drove him over to the boss for our reward. The boss was so shocked when he saw Fabio’s own friends turning him in, that he ended up giving us double what was promised. We were chuckling heartily as we walked away from the exchange, debating how we were to spend the money. There was more money in our hands than we had ever seen in our lives and we were giddy with excitement thinking about the possibilities. We never got the chance to live in luxury though. A couple days later, after we spent a large chunk of money on a large apartment, we heard the reports that the boss had been killed and that there was a new leader of the city center. Turns out that betraying your impulsive and ambitious friends can have huge side effects. As the new boss, Fabio ordered all of our arrests, in which we promptly abandoned the city center and fled to the abandoned suburbs. Our little gang had just enough money to move to a new territory and maybe even challenge one of their gangs. We started trekking through the wilderness and it took us a month to reach the nearest city, Detroit. The gangs in control of the city apparently did not take kindly to newcomers and immediately were hostile towards us. Escaping with barely anything left, we made the journey back to the abandoned suburbs, just outside of Fabio’s influence. It is here that we now live, in secret, for discovery welcomes death. 

So you may be curious why we were heading back to the city after what we saw that night. It was not so much that we saw who they were and recognized them, but the identity of the broken wine bottle we found. It was an antique, a relic from the old Napa valley in California. These days a bottle from Napa could be sold for millions. There were very few people that we knew who could afford such a commodity. Of course, it is a gamble because it very well could have been stolen from one of the mob bosses of any of the remaining city centers. Any fugitive would have been pursued by the bosses for they took punishment serious enough, especially when it came to their possessions. Fabio especially holds a wicked grudge against us all. We have all imagined the torturous hospitality we would face once he found us. The gamble is worth it though, for the reward could be ownership of the city if we play it right. If we find Fabio’s dead body then we will claim ownership of his murder and take control of the gang, as do all good gang leaders. 

It must have been a stroke of luck, but it only took us a couple day’s travel to find her. On the way to the city center, we saw her by a thickly wooded brook, where the sunlight dappled onto the ground, appearing as stars against the dark, shadowed floor. She was singing a lovely song as she strolled, back facing us, towards the brook. Her voice was low, softer than the rush of the water, for we could barely make it out after a while. Then there was the scream, followed by her uproar of laughter when we saw her crouch down into the water. She was splashing quite violently. A hushing fear descended upon us all, silencing us, and all we could do was stare at the girl in the water. There was now no noise at all, except for the brook, the water flowing swiftly, as if in a hurry to escape the woods. There was suddenly a large gust of wind, a great howl, followed by the ghastly creaking of the gnarled tree limbs. Then silence once again returned to the woods. We looked at each other in trepidation, unsure of whether we should approach or not. Knowing that there was a lot of money and power on the line, we knew we had to act. We started the walk towards the girl, who, as we got closer, appeared to be busy washing something in the water. There was another gust of wind, longer this time. As it died down, we heard the clang of metal. Across the brook we noticed a fallen shovel that once leaned against a tree but was now lying on a patch of rock, the spade half submerged in the brook. The sunlight reflecting off the shovel created a vermillion hue in the water. We were all getting excited by the presence of the bloody shovel, until we saw that the girl was looking at us. In her hand was a longsword, half bloodied, half iridescently gleaming in the sunlight. 

“What have you done with Fabio?” We all cried out to her. There was no response, she just glared at us in apparent hatred. She turned as if to leave, then stopped short.

“I have found my reason to kill the man whom I love.” After that she was gone. 

We promptly abandoned our journey to the city center. It was clear to us that the girl was now the leader of the city center and we had no chance of taking power for ourselves. Yet we all were okay with this. If anything, we had learned that by being the boss, you were much more likely to die a painful death, and we all very much preferred living. Never have we been happier to just exist, with the harmonious company of one another, in peace in the suburbs. 

BACK STORY. Only read this if you want all the mystery spoiled. This is how the two pieces are connected. If you understand everything without reading this, then I am very proud of you.

 The boss’s daughter didn’t live in the city with her father, she lived in the cottage with her mother, away, in secret, from all the violence of the city. It was on that fateful night that Fabio learned of the existence of the boss’s daughter that he travelled to the countryside and met her for the first time. He was a courteous gentleman and he seduced her with his charm. She had never met another guy her age before because she was never allowed to go to the city. She only knew the harshness of her father, so upon meeting Fabio, she was infatuated with him. He was perfect in her eyes. He would travel there multiple times, until her mother finally caught him in the act. She never knew that Fabio killed her mother. In fact, he comforted her and promised her that he would avenge her mother’s death and make it better. He then went away, leaving her all alone. Thus the ransom for his head was soon advertised by the boss. As soon as we saw him, we seized him and turned him in, thus he indirectly got access to the boss and made his move. He never told any of this to the boss’s daughter, letting her believe it was a tragedy. He would soon after start taking her on trips to the city, as she was begging for a chance at freedom and to see the world. At the city she began to learn that he was lying to her and she was disillusioned slowly as she began to see other males his age too. She figured it out eventually, leading to her trap that resulted in his death that night at the top of the hill. He admitted it all after her monologue, helped by being drunk of course, which gave her all the reason she needed to hate, and thus kill him.

WHO IS WE?

We is a term for the anonymous group of people that used to be a part of Fabio’s gang. We is used to describe their relative unimportance as well as their lack of resolve and leadership. No one in the group is decisive enough to overcome their passive natures. Everything they do is a result of the group’s decision. They all think alike so it is not hard for them to reach consensus about a lot of things. They all want money and power so it is easy for them to agree to betray Fabio. Because they are all passive, they are thus all equal. There are no arguments between this group, they are a cohesive unit that works together. This is seen when they spent their money on an apartment for all of them. The money was not hoarded by anyone. It was also spent on something that benefitted them all equally. Before that they were living where Fabio told them to, and it was in a slums part of the city center. This was definitely an upgrade for them. They also do not pursue the boss’s daughter when she runs away from them. They believed that they could never take power for themselves so they just gave up. Their ultimate lack of ambition leads to their lack of status, which is also why they remain anonymous. They are unimportant people in a world that is dominated by the quest for power and significance. 

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE WORLD?

The world is now run by gangs who control the major cities of the world. There are several gangs in a city, like Fabio’s, but only one has total control over the city. This leads to constant backstabbing and betrayal, in which power switches hands constantly throughout every decade in each city. The world has devolved into a frenzy for power. Power means wealth. Wealth does not mean access to needs however. Food and water and clothing and shelter are available in abundance for everyone. Power is the currency that motivates people. Power means access to luxury goods, like fancier houses, better food, wine, and all sorts of other vanities.

Social Justice Speech

ethan77777 |

A misinformed public is the biggest hindrance to social justice and change.. It’s not that the people are bad, it’s not that their ideas are bad either, it’s simply the result of a misinformed passion that creates this threat. As humans, we are so easily swayed, we become invested within moments of hearing a story. Originally we became angry because it was our adrenaline causing us to fear for our lives. It was an instinctual response to keep us alive.  Now we become angry because we are taught to become angry. We are taught that it is right to be angry, because without anger, how is change possible? How can you catch anyone’s attention if their beliefs are not radically inspired in the direction of change. People are motivated by injustices, they are very receptive to the plights of others and see it as unfair. This easily mustered anger can be utilized by higher authorities or influential people to achieve an agenda. This works because anger is a representation of our values. We become angry when our values and beliefs do not align with the reality in front of us. People who strongly value honesty will have a very strong reaction of anger when they are lied to.

 This is where altruism comes in, when a person or value you care deeply about is challenged, you will want to protect it. Anger is a good emotion, it provides insight into what we as humans value, it enlightens those who do not understand you, and it is such a motivational force.
Anger is so powerful; it bothers me so much how people use anger to champion a cause when they only listen to their anger and do not seek to understand the issue.  Anger is a beautiful thing because it is representative of our needs and wants, of our virtues and beliefs. Anger is so powerful though, that it can easily be manipulated. It can make us, who care so deeply about an issue, do awful things by promoting violence and harm. It  motivates us to disregard our morals in order to fight for a cause. We need to be confident that we are acting on our own conviction and are not being used by other people to fight for their causes. We need to know what we are fighting for, this is quintessential. 

I myself am a victim of this issue. I have been against the ideas of NASA for a long time because I believed it to be a waste of time and resources. Did I ever do the research on NASA though? Did I ever investigate how much government money was spent on it? No I did not, and therefore, I was spreading anti-NASA sentiment based on my own inaccurate beliefs. It turns out that for the past 50 years, since the 1970’s, only 0.5% of the federal budget was spent on NASA. Now that percentage may appear to be small, however this is America we are talking about. It equates to about 22 billion per year. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a lot of money, but in the grand scheme of things its not that much.Before I did any research, I thought that NASA was getting a lot more money. By doing the research, finally I am promoting accurate ideas that can now be of benefit to society. Through this research, I also learned that of the national budget, 59% of the 4.5 trillion dollar budget is allocated for health care and income assistance. This even further helped to humble my opinions on the expenses that the USA is providing for NASA. 

After that, I found out what NASA actually spends its money on. A lot of it goes back into the community, through grants and contracts. NASA has near 17 000 employees, invests money in about 5 000 companies, using almost 75% of its budget in salaries. NASA is able to spur innovation and technology, promote international peace through foregin policy, motivates more people to pursue a STEM career, and it has contributed to the development of satellites and GPS technologies. 

Before I had researched, I never considered the benefits that NASA provided, all I looked at was the futility of exploring space and travelling to the moon and Mars. Now I believe that my opinion is more balanced and accurate. The important thing is that I can now address my anger and passion for environmentalism in other places, not at NASA, which was not the problem I thought that it was. 

Crane Leah, NASA has selected SpaceX to build a lander to take humans to the moon, new Scientist, Published on 16 April, 2021, Accessed on June 3 2021, https://www.newscientist.com/article/2274922-nasa-has-selected-spacex-to-build-a-lander-to-take-humans-to-the-moon/

Unknown author, Your guide to Nasaś budget, The planetary society, published on unknown publication date, accessed on May 28, 2021,https://www.planetary.org/space-policy/nasa-budget#:~:text=The%20United%20States%20government%20spent,billion)%20was%20provided%20to%20NASA.

Kashdan Todd, Biswas-Diener Robert, The right way to get angry, greater good magazine, published on october 20,2014, accessed on may 28,2021, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_right_way_to_get_angry#:~:text=Anger%20is%20best%20viewed%20as,life%20or%20on%20the%20job.

Ratson Moshe, the value of anger:16 reasons its good to get angry, good therapy, published on march 13, 2017, accessed on May 28,2021,https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/value-of-anger-16-reasons-its-good-to-get-angry-0313175

Bartels Meagan,Biden proposes $24.7 billionNasa budget in 2022 to support moon exploration and more, space.com, posted on april 31, 2021, accessed on may 31, 2021,  https://www.space.com/biden-nasa-2022-budget-request

Free Choice

ethan77777 |

To whom it may concern

I believed in the movement with all my heart. I served loyally and faithfully, through the bitter summer rains and the fierce winter snowfalls. Day upon day, I would march, stomach empty, body aching, weary from malnutrition and over exertion. It was a dreary two years. Soldier against soldier, kinsmen against kinsmen. Brother saw brother, father saw son, yet they knew them not. There is no familiarity in war, just ideology. And we painted our ideology in blood across the Russian frontier, its icy canvas tells our story. For we belonged to the Red Army, recruits who were idealistic and naive, but returned battle hardened and resolute. We saw glory, honour, and sacrifice in the field. We were determined, this was our purpose, our mission was pure. Yet we all missed the foreshadowed atrocities of war, where the innocent are slaughtered and soldiers become dispensable, where their lives have as much value as the chips on a poker table. Before it was all play, training missions where we fought the scarecrow soldiers plastered over the evergreen forest, when we raced up trees in a competition of speed in order to learn the craft of a sniper. These were the days when we would do aerial missions, parachuting out of planes, doing flips, and intensive maneuvers as pilots. This is the war we all dream of when we are children, where none of the conditions of war time reality exist. There was no fear, no hunger or injury. Most of all, as of yet we are spared from the harsh reality of war: murder. I had never killed anyone before, none of us had.

But then we were sent into combat. 

My training prepared me well for warfare. Through all the extensive bush training, I became extremely perceptive and excelled in survival. But nothing can prepare you for that first bullet shot, where you take the life of another human. I felt no glory, there was no swelling of pride like we were promised there would be. It was a hollow feeling, I was numb, my thoughts slowed and all I could do was stare at the fallen body. Then I was shot in the leg, and all the misery inside me vanished as I was brought back into the fervor of the revolution. I was inflamed, no longer worried by the consequences of murder. I had become a killer, just like they had planned for me. Deep down though, I knew they were liars, for I never found honor in killing for them

I had an audience with Lenin the month before I departed from Russia. As a soldier I gained significant prestige for my ruthless ability to kill. He had requested a meeting with me individually with the intent of advancing me to a general.  He was a horrifying man, his physiognomy stony and conservative. He was a man of composure, thus a man of deception. For power truly belongs to those who never smile or frown, an aura of mystery surrounds them with the ability to entice an entire nation. 

But I was not seduced. He was a man who prided himself in getting what he wanted, and I eluded him. I feared for my life, so I had no choice but to comply, the next day I fled the country

And never looked back.

Signed Josip

May 12, 1922

To all those who have ever believed in our ideals,

I want to express a sincere appreciation for your devoted attention to the preservation of the party. I know that my arrest has shocked you all, but it is not the end. Do not give up hope. We might be smaller in number than is viable, but we have not lost. The Chetniks may have us on the run, as enemies of the state, yet that is exactly what we require. We have needed for a long time to grow more discreet in our efforts; public opinion has always hated our kind. Let the people watch this crackdown, let them witness the unjust prosecution of writers and philosophers. They will surely become sympathetic to our cause, give them time. 

Josip

March 23, 1926

To my trusted associate and friend

Everything is happening according to plan. He kept his word and the deed was done. I urgently need you to visit us in Zagreb, the turmoil is becoming increasingly harder to control. Your wise discretion and infectious confidence is needed to re-establish order. I need you by my side. I worry for my life at times, for some of our members are overzealous and too eager for swift actions. They complain that I am not aggressive enough, that I am missing opportunities to insinuate ourselves into positions of power. Yet they are fools, they know nothing of politics. The Chetniks’ allegiance to the monarchs has given them their absolute power. They are doing all they can to persecute us and these fools are falling right into their traps. If anything, I urge you to come just for the sake of my mental stability. I worry I will do something rash if I am constantly aggravated by these impatient juveniles. 

Whatever you hear, we can trust Stalin. Rumours are floating all over Europe about his cruelties, but he truly is an ally. He has purged the dissidents of our communist party just like I requested of him, he is a man of his word. He got me out of jail years ago with his influence alone. Do not be dissuaded by your hatred for the man, he is our greatest ally and ultimately the key to our success. It is only through him that we now have complete control within the communist party. Take heart, the time has come for our new world order, but it will not be easy, we will be tested.

Signed Josip Tito

July 3, 1934

To those who have followed me to the ends of the Earth and back again

I am writing from the darkness of my heart. I can only imagine how afraid you all must feel in these harrowing moments. I commend you all for your resilience, for you are the truest of soldiers, unyielding to even the darkest of enemies. You are the hope of tomorrow, the dawn of humanity’s greatest triumph. Your strength will reward you in the days to come, for all who deserted us will face the wrath of our hardened hearts. For it is the Fascist’s misfortune that they know not, that it is by their very oppression, that they are awakening a giant. Their lacking  foresight will be attributed to our very own ascension. The talk of Aryans will perpetuate their demise. The people will rise in anger, for they hate the Aryans. They know of the crimes, they have seen the massacres. They know who the real enemy is, and all the hatred they have for us is subsiding with the tenacity of an avalanche. We are for the Slavic people, we have done very well in making that known. 

Singed Tito

October 29, 1939

To all those who believe in Yugoslavian nationality

The deed has been done. The German forces have breached our nation’s borders and are fast approaching the heart of our beloved home. They have moved swift across the continent, faster than we thought they ever would. The Italians are with them, those mindless beasts. They are just puppets, manipulated by the fervor and passion of Germany, to be sacrificed. They are blind to the fact that they will lose everything in the wake of the war. The very definition of Aryan denies the Italians of any place in the third Reich. The Germans will take over and they will be unable to stop them then. Sheep is what they are, following the strongest power without regard for their own future. Oh how I hate the Italians for their folly, but the Germans I hate more.

We are not so simple minded. This is our rallying cry. We will not be forced into submission by the Germans, but will make our defensive stand when they arrive in Zagreb. So gather all your forces and meet us here. The Soviets have pledged us their support and are on their way to the capital. 

Let us celebrate how far we have come. Once a fringe party, now we are the most prominent force in the entire federation. All that stands between us and power are the Chetnik nationalists. Yet even now their popular support is crumbling. They have failed to denounce the cruelties of the Nazis, they have failed to call out in anguish for the lives lost in those abhorred camps. Good Slavic people are being targeted, slaughtered in these camps, and they dare to act indifferent. 

We have, and it will not be long before the people realize this too.

Singed Tito

May 2, 1942

To all those who thought we would lose

With a hiss the knife shredded skin, and blood poured out in a gush of champagne. The grass drank it up hungrily, each blade coated in blood, its story stained into it, a memorial of their heroic endeavors. For all time to come, the land will remember this victorious day. 

The war ended with one final execution. 

The Russians never came, their army never liberated our lands. It was destiny for Yugoslavian blood to be spilled alone. 

The British and Americans also supported us. We had the entirety of the Allies on our side, which led to our victory in seizing power finally. But what really gave us our victory was the Chetniks ultimate betrayal. 

They turned on their own nation. They made a pact with the Germans in a final attempt to defeat us. However fate was not on their side. They had power for decades and had been rooting us out like weeds for years, but they could not eradicate us. The people now utterly reject them as traitors, and all that remains is us, the historically hated communist party. 

We are now inevitable. 

Signed Tito

November 24, 1945

To all those who have ever been betrayed

I write this final letter with sorrow, with a tremendous aching for what may have been. For so long we have pined for our ideals, to be our own sovereign overlords instead of the old imperialist empires. So long I have yearned for humanity to break free of its yoke, to be liberated from the terrors of man. When man ceases to be its own worst enemy, all crises will be solved. Cooperation among nations is the solution, yet we are too arrogant to make these sacrifices that are essential for camaraderie. I too am guilty of these offences. For I have betrayed my own true allegiance, I am indistinguishable from the basest of human behaviour. But in this selfishness, I have saved my people. So while I have severed all foreign relations with our nation, the nation itself has been preserved, to flourish and blossom. It is in this sense that I believe myself to have been redeemed, for I am a hero to the people. They will never know the horrors of captivity, the injustices of an absolute dictatorship. They will be naive to the starvations and abuses faced by those under the Iron Curtain. 

My life is the price for their freedom.

Even now I hear the footsteps outside my door, the hushed gunshots and silent curses muttered under breath as my guards get picked off, one by one. They are sloppy, though everything is sloppy when it comes to the Soviet Union. Their sheer numbers give way to laziness, and they are arrogant because they never lose. They are impossible to overcome, for they are like the hydra in that each wave of assassins only grows larger each time I evade them. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that the USSR is expendable. There is no regard for human life, but the people are socialized to believe in the glory of self sacrifice. They have romanticized their own deaths, as if it were a lottery that they dreamed every night of winning. Yet, is it not the impossibility of a lottery that makes it so thrilling? For it is the elusive that we chase in order to retain our optimism; if we only believe in reality, our gloom will haunt us and we will begin to regard life as torment. So if the mythical is to be eradicated, if hope is extinguished, then death must take its place, for death is the one thing remaining that cannot be understood. This is the life within the Soviet’s domain, a populace that longs for death as the only pursuit of glory. 

I betrayed Stalin for a reason. It is my legacy to protect this great nation from the corruption of Stalin’s empire. You must preserve the autonomy of these people. You must not let them fall into ruin, like so many others in Europe. 

Do not trust the west either. Accept their loans, collaborate with them, be diplomatic, but do not fall into their influence. They do not care for our country, all they care about are their own interests, and those interests do not involve communism. They will destroy us if they have the chance, strip away your power and set up democratic elections. For if this happens, then all we have worked for over the decades have been for naught. 

Make me proud…..                                                                                       

P.S

There was blood all over the desk and chair where the murder took place. The blood unfortunately soaked through the last part of the letter, so the final thoughts of Josip Broz Tito will remain hidden and undiscovered. 

Authors note

Tito was not actually assassinated by the agents of Stalin. In his position of power as president of Yugoslavia, he had his own secret police, similar to the Russian’s KGB, that protected him from insurgent rebels within the nation and Russian assassins. He was a great man who led his country through so much. He believed in his nation’s self determination and would not listen blindly like the other communist countries did to the words of Stalin. His indignant attitude is what cost him his alliance with the USSR, but looking from an outside perspective, it was for the greater good of Yugoslavia. Yugoslavia was never a part of the USSR. They were the most liberal communist country in all of Europe. They were a non-aligned country, which means that they did not side with either Russia or the United States. The nation of Yugoslavia eventually fell apart in the 1980s, when there were high tensions between the ethnic groups living in the federation. 

comments

ethan77777 |
Seedling
This is the spoken word from Debbie
About Me
This is an about me from Romaisa
About Me 2021
This is an about me by Mariam
Spoken Word Poetry
This is a spoken word from Romaisa
Nonfiction Memoir
This is a comment on the non fiction piece by Amy
Man Vs Nature (Memoir)
This is a comment on the non fiction piece and or memoir by Jimmy
The End.
A comment on the free choice by Anikka



Everything here is new comments that I have made since the last time
What Does it Mean to Be A Student?

This a a comment on Riders Free choice

Free Write

THis is a comment of the free write of Zarinś.

Short Story + Monologue
Commenting on Jimmy’s short story and monologue
Angel’s Weeping
a comment on Debbie’s short story and monologue

Memoir

ethan77777 |

Genesis

To fight or to flight, this is the question that surrounds me, haunts me as I enter my adult life. I am a youth, an inexperienced and optimistic young male, who is entering the world full of confidence and excitement. Yet hidden under this confidence is great uncertainty that tethers this heart against exploration and freedom. It projects haunting illusions and dreadful tales of failure. It is the ghost in the dark that stalks me when the lights flicker off and I have to run into bed in order to feel safe and secure. My mind, my rationality assures me that I will succeed. Parents, friends, family, they all tell me I will do great, but I feel hollow. It all flows through, a fish net worthy of a hundred fish, but the holes are too large and the fish are able to escape. These uncertainties of mine are magnified to such a scale that they are too large to quell, to capture or control. I cannot help but watch these disasters unfold on the big screen, where the sounds are all too vivid and the consequences are lifelike. The villains seem unconquerable, the mountains too high to climb. For I know that these uncertainties come from a cube, no bigger than a shoebox, but they mesmerize me in that theatre, and thus, they morph into a skyscraper. It’s all in my head of course, the fear of the unknown preventing me from taking action. It makes me believe that something bad will happen to me when in reality if I fail, my life will have no impact at all. 

To set the stage, I have been an avid curler for the majority of my life. 

Allow me to explain what curling is for all of you who are unfamiliar with the sport. Curling is a game that is played on ice. There are rings on both sides of a sheet of ice, comparable in design to a bowling alley, but longer. The object of the game is for both teams to throw each of their eight rocks back to back until all the rocks are thrown. Then the team with their rocks closest to the button, like the centre of a dart board, will score points. It is a game that is played with four players. It involves a lot of strategy, like chess, and it also requires technique; it is a very precise game. 

It all began when I was seven years old and I began to play the sport. I had the same team for seven years. This meant that I had been with the same people for seven years and had a very close relationship with them. The team finally came to an end two years ago and I had no clue what to do with myself and was very uncertain. Preceding this though, was the breakup of the team, which in itself was a disaster. In all my limited wisdom, I was scared to advocate for my own interests. A friend and I wanted to leave the team because we weren’t getting the results we wanted. We lost more than we won and the team never improved. We were stagnant and we wanted to play better, to be with better players. But I was too scared to say that, so I wanted to get the others to agree to dissolve the team. Basically I wanted to manipulate them into doing what I wanted. I wanted them to make the decision. I did not want to be the villain who left the team. Much more though, I was terrified of my decision and the impact it would have on my curling future. What would this mean for my opportunity to play the following year? Would I even find a new team? If so, is it better to not leave and guarantee that I can still play the next year? Without change there is certainty, this is where I am happiest. This is where I am able to develop relationships and grow comfortable with others. I am awkward socially, it takes a long time for me to connect with new people. I struggle with conversations, with knowing what to say next and how to keep people engaged with me. I find it hard to establish relationships but I am much better at maturing them and making them more permanent. So this was my worry about leaving my team. What if I could not find a team or if I do, what if we do not like each other and have a terrible season as a result. 

No matter how bad my initial plan was, it worked. Together the two of us had convinced the other two on my team that we should not play together again. Looking back this seems really cruel of me to do, for it was two of us spewing propaganda at the other two to try to get them to agree with us. We were saying things like school is important and you need to focus on it more if you want to go to university. You see, we knew that they were not the greatest students, that they were struggling in classes and we used it against them. One of them wanted to get a job and we turned that against him too, convincing him of how little free time he would have and how stressed he would be. I feel so much guilt about this event in my life because of the way we approached the situation. We were trying to be manipulative when we should have been direct. 

I have learned a lot since then, about being assertive to get what you want. It is so much easier than being passive and manipulative, attempting to make others make the decisions you are in favour of. It seems so foolish now, but maybe it was the feeling of uncertainty that influenced how we acted. Both of us were worried about the repercussions of leaving the team. Perhaps by stalling we would take longer to break up as a team and this gives us more time to find a new team before we leave our original one. You know what I mean. When you have a job you do not like and are actively searching for job interviews and are applying for a new one before you quit. Yup, that’s me, sneaking around; a betrayer. 

So we ended the team. We both went two ways, my friend Aidan and I looking for a new team and the others focusing on school. In the end it did not work out for the both of us. There were no teams looking for two players, everyone we talked to only needed one player so we had to leave each other. This only exasperated my uncertainty. Not only had I already left my team where I was comfortable, but now I had left my only link to certainty. Looking for three players that were strangers was a very anxious time for me. I was constantly worried about fitting in, about how I was going to contribute to the team. Eventually I hit gold. I was emailing strangers who I knew curled and somebody finally said yes, they actually wanted me on their team. I was so excited, the relief flowed through me like the spring thaw. I was so anxious for months about not getting a team but now that I had one, all my uncertainty fled me. It turned out that we were all strangers to each other, which was even better for me because I did not have to integrate myself into a group of friends. 

We became cohesive really quickly, we may not have been friends or talked much together, but we could work very efficiently. We ended up winning two tournaments as a team and going to provincials. This was probably the most exciting time of my life. I had never gone to anything this important before. It was a weeklong tournament similar to what the professional curlers would do at the elite level. The best part was that it was in Grande Prairie which if you do not know, is an eight hour drive north west from Calgary. 

This was truly one of the most exciting moments of my life. We rented a huge van as a group and all drove up together to save on costs. I remember just how quiet we were the whole way up, we never really were a chatty group. I would just stare out the window for most of the ride, watching the vast forests fly by. It was late February at the time and there was little snow in Calgary then. It was amazing to watch the transition as we drove north as the snow gently returned and the world became colder the further we travelled. It seemed like we were driving into winter as we kept heading north. 

So the week went by and we left disappointed. We played eight games in total and we left with a record of 4-4. We had much higher expectations for ourselves. The team that ended up winning was the only team to lose to us that week. We all knew that we could have won the entire thing and gone to nationals. I had so much anticipation for the moment that we would win, I was so exhilarated and focused that when we were eliminated it was crushing.

 Here’s the thing about blame: It can seem obvious who should be blamed but ultimately everyone is equally deserving of blame. Talk to me about the treaty of Versailles and you will find out my opinion on blaming. But ya, we had a chance to go to the semi finals but our skip missed both of his shots to win the game. We all unfairly blamed him for our loss and we were frustrated for a long time. What saved us was our maturity. We knew that blaming people is the worst thing you can do in the aftermath of failure because that leads to the disintegration of the team itself. I moved on and stopped blaming him. For the problem with grudges is that they only affect yourself. It is so much better to forgive them and move on because a grudge will only impact you alone. Lifting these self made burdens will release the pain and allow you to focus on positive things, to look forwards, not always backwards. It is better to let them fade than to breed them and let them fester within you. Do you really want to become Inigo Montoya, or do you want to pursue a fulfilling life and achieve satisfaction? That is what I did. I found the experiences I had to be wonderful and will always remember them as good times. I can look at it nostalgically rather than a regret. 

In all uncertainty really sucks. It tries to prevent you from living your life. It tries to encapsulate you in your worry and render you immobile to change. If I had been too scared to even attempt to leave my original team I never would have had these successes and experiences. Things worked out for me this time, but they will not always work. The chance you take is so important though. “Sometimes the opportunity is waiting for you,” a quote by IB Adeleke.

Memoir

ethan77777 |

Genesis

To fight or to flight, this is the question that surrounds me, haunts me as I enter my adult life. I am a youth, an inexperienced and optimistic young male, who is entering the world full of confidence and excitement. Yet hidden under this confidence is great uncertainty that tethers this heart against exploration and freedom. It projects haunting illusions and dreadful tales of failure. It is the ghost in the dark that stalks me when the lights flicker off and I have to run into bed in order to feel safe and secure. My mind, my rationality assures me that I will succeed. Parents, friends, family, they all tell me I will do great, but I feel hollow. It all flows through, a fish net worthy of a hundred fish, but the holes are too large and the fish are able to escape. These uncertainties of mine are magnified to such a scale that they are too large to quell, to capture or control. I cannot help but watch these disasters unfold on the big screen, where the sounds are all too vivid and the consequences are lifelike. The villains seem unconquerable, the mountains too high to climb. For I know that these uncertainties come from a cube, no bigger than a shoebox, but they mesmerize me in that theatre, and thus, they morph into a skyscraper. It’s all in my head of course, the fear of the unknown preventing me from taking action. It makes me believe that something bad will happen to me when in reality if I fail, my life will have no impact at all. 

To set the stage, I have been an avid curler for the majority of my life. 

Allow me to explain what curling is for all of you who are unfamiliar with the sport. Curling is a game that is played on ice. There are rings on both sides of a sheet of ice, comparable in design to a bowling alley, but longer. The object of the game is for both teams to throw each of their eight rocks back to back until all the rocks are thrown. Then the team with their rocks closest to the button, like the centre of a dart board, will score points. It is a game that is played with four players. It involves a lot of strategy, like chess, and it also requires technique; it is a very precise game. 

It all began when I was seven years old and I began to play the sport. I had the same team for seven years. This meant that I had been with the same people for seven years and had a very close relationship with them. The team finally came to an end two years ago and I had no clue what to do with myself and was very uncertain. Preceding this though, was the breakup of the team, which in itself was a disaster. In all my limited wisdom, I was scared to advocate for my own interests. A friend and I wanted to leave the team because we weren’t getting the results we wanted. We lost more than we won and the team never improved. We were stagnant and we wanted to play better, to be with better players. But I was too scared to say that, so I wanted to get the others to agree to dissolve the team. Basically I wanted to manipulate them into doing what I wanted. I wanted them to make the decision. I did not want to be the villain who left the team. Much more though, I was terrified of my decision and the impact it would have on my curling future. What would this mean for my opportunity to play the following year? Would I even find a new team? If so, is it better to not leave and guarantee that I can still play the next year? Without change there is certainty, this is where I am happiest. This is where I am able to develop relationships and grow comfortable with others. I am awkward socially, it takes a long time for me to connect with new people. I struggle with conversations, with knowing what to say next and how to keep people engaged with me. I find it hard to establish relationships but I am much better at maturing them and making them more permanent. So this was my worry about leaving my team. What if I could not find a team or if I do, what if we do not like each other and have a terrible season as a result. 

No matter how bad my initial plan was, it worked. Together the two of us had convinced the other two on my team that we should not play together again. Looking back this seems really cruel of me to do, for it was two of us spewing propaganda at the other two to try to get them to agree with us. We were saying things like school is important and you need to focus on it more if you want to go to university. You see, we knew that they were not the greatest students, that they were struggling in classes and we used it against them. One of them wanted to get a job and we turned that against him too, convincing him of how little free time he would have and how stressed he would be. I feel so much guilt about this event in my life because of the way we approached the situation. We were trying to be manipulative when we should have been direct. 

I have learned a lot since then, about being assertive to get what you want. It is so much easier than being passive and manipulative, attempting to make others make the decisions you are in favour of. It seems so foolish now, but maybe it was the feeling of uncertainty that influenced how we acted. Both of us were worried about the repercussions of leaving the team. Perhaps by stalling we would take longer to break up as a team and this gives us more time to find a new team before we leave our original one. You know what I mean. When you have a job you do not like and are actively searching for job interviews and are applying for a new one before you quit. Yup, that’s me, sneaking around; a betrayer. 

So we ended the team. We both went two ways, my friend Aidan and I looking for a new team and the others focusing on school. In the end it did not work out for the both of us. There were no teams looking for two players, everyone we talked to only needed one player so we had to leave each other. This only exasperated my uncertainty. Not only had I already left my team where I was comfortable, but now I had left my only link to certainty. Looking for three players that were strangers was a very anxious time for me. I was constantly worried about fitting in, about how I was going to contribute to the team. Eventually I hit gold. I was emailing strangers who I knew curled and somebody finally said yes, they actually wanted me on their team. I was so excited, the relief flowed through me like the spring thaw. I was so anxious for months about not getting a team but now that I had one, all my uncertainty fled me. It turned out that we were all strangers to each other, which was even better for me because I did not have to integrate myself into a group of friends. 

We became cohesive really quickly, we may not have been friends or talked much together, but we could work very efficiently. We ended up winning two tournaments as a team and going to provincials. This was probably the most exciting time of my life. I had never gone to anything this important before. It was a weeklong tournament similar to what the professional curlers would do at the elite level. The best part was that it was in Grande Prairie which if you do not know, is an eight hour drive north west from Calgary. 

This was truly one of the most exciting moments of my life. We rented a huge van as a group and all drove up together to save on costs. I remember just how quiet we were the whole way up, we never really were a chatty group. I would just stare out the window for most of the ride, watching the vast forests fly by. It was late February at the time and there was little snow in Calgary then. It was amazing to watch the transition as we drove north as the snow gently returned and the world became colder the further we travelled. It seemed like we were driving into winter as we kept heading north. 

So the week went by and we left disappointed. We played eight games in total and we left with a record of 4-4. We had much higher expectations for ourselves. The team that ended up winning was the only team to lose to us that week. We all knew that we could have won the entire thing and gone to nationals. I had so much anticipation for the moment that we would win, I was so exhilarated and focused that when we were eliminated it was crushing.

 Here’s the thing about blame: It can seem obvious who should be blamed but ultimately everyone is equally deserving of blame. Talk to me about the treaty of Versailles and you will find out my opinion on blaming. But ya, we had a chance to go to the semi finals but our skip missed both of his shots to win the game. We all unfairly blamed him for our loss and we were frustrated for a long time. What saved us was our maturity. We knew that blaming people is the worst thing you can do in the aftermath of failure because that leads to the disintegration of the team itself. I moved on and stopped blaming him. For the problem with grudges is that they only affect yourself. It is so much better to forgive them and move on because a grudge will only impact you alone. Lifting these self made burdens will release the pain and allow you to focus on positive things, to look forwards, not always backwards. It is better to let them fade than to breed them and let them fester within you. Do you really want to become Inigo Montoya, or do you want to pursue a fulfilling life and achieve satisfaction? That is what I did. I found the experiences I had to be wonderful and will always remember them as good times. I can look at it nostalgically rather than a regret. 

In all uncertainty really sucks. It tries to prevent you from living your life. It tries to encapsulate you in your worry and render you immobile to change. If I had been too scared to even attempt to leave my original team I never would have had these successes and experiences. Things worked out for me this time, but they will not always work. The chance you take is so important though. “Sometimes the opportunity is waiting for you,” a quote by IB Adeleke.

Poetry Spoken Word

ethan77777 |

Why do we sacrifice our heritage for simplicity?

When we give into the madness of the mass production we lose ourselves

In the promises of fast and easy dinners,

In the lies of health and nutrition.

In the battle to preserve identity;

For some food is a celebration.

It is a tradition passed on from the earliest generation that can remembered,

Where recipes are passed down the line.

We cherish those recipes as a trophy,

They sit in the shelf like a participatory ribbon,

Something we don’t deserve yet take pride in anyways

Because they sit their

Dusty,

Unused,

And watch and listen to the crackling of wrappers and know they have been replaced.

Food is in a golden age right now.

With global trade I could experience Hawaii by eating a coconut,

Then travel to India with a taste of cumin

Then fly to Germany and grimace as I eat sourkrout.

Standing in a single store I am in every part of the world,

I can see lush jungles and rainforests, feel their steamy mists and feel the humid heat on my back.

I can see the vast coastline and taste the salty brine and hear the seagulls cheering for one another as they dive into the water and return with a glistening fish caught in its beak.

I can see the prairies and the orchards where row upon row of crop is flourishing, a million acres of gold slowly earning its golden shine.

All these places I visit.

All the places I have the chance to explore and get to know,

To see their beauty and to understand the land.

But I walk right on by into the Arctic, where I see nothing growing.

This infertile land, barren of even rocks and dirt, just snow and ice.

It’s blizzarding real fierce, as if it’s warning me to retreat, to go back to the beautiful landscapes and be happy there, but I push on.

I reach into the frozen section and there I find my reward:

Lasagna

Who knew the Arctic grew lasagna?

Well I am now trapped in this wasteland, the ice has grown into walls all around me and I cannot escape

I am a prisoner to the cold, but a prisoner not of body but of mind.

There is a path out but my body refuses to go

It likes the Arctic lasagna, it feels so good that I don’t want to go back.

I have forgotten about the beauty of the coast, the tropical splendor of the jungle is a fading memory,

A memory that I want to forget because my life has become so much better now.

Society has become inverted.

Why is it cheaper to buy a burger from a store than a single head of spinach?

Fast food not only deceived you with its efficiency, but it ensnares you with its cost.

Organic foods are the most expensive foods that can be bought.

They are the healthiest option as they are free of pesticides and chemicals.

Why then is the healthiest option the hardest to get?

Why does the nation value the health of its people at a lower standard than the convenience and efficiency of production?

Is this not a systemic problem as well?

Lower income families are not able to afford the healthier food options and they have no choice but to buy cheaper foods, riddled with preservatives and chemicals. There seems to be this class divide that the rich can afford higher quality food while the poor cannot. 

We say there is equality by giving everyone access to the same food yet there is still segregation with the type of food you can buy.

Look back to the Greeks, to all the ancient civilizations.

They went to the store daily,

They had no refrigerator,

They couldn’t store everything as we do.

Salt was a rarity.

Saved for the curing of meat, for protein to stave off the long winters wrath.

Have we become so lazy that we only shop once a week?

Now we don’t even go to the store anymore

We get it delivered to our house, 

Packaged in a box or bag, convenience.

All we have to do is get up off our couch and open the door.

Since when has humanity plummeted into such a pathetic state?

When they cannot even buy food for themselves anymore.

There is something special about a home cooked meal,

There is something about the taste,

It’s different than what has become the norm.

It takes hard labour of course

Having to chop a knife a little or having to wait patiently for the meat to cook enough so that it is not poison.

But it’s so rewarding,

It builds bonds between people,

It links you back to your culture and that is where you can begin to discover your roots.

It allows you to explore new cultures, there is so much possibility.

So instead of buying a preservative that’s name is incomprehensible to the human tongue, let’s buy a vegetable that we cannot pronounce and educate ourselves about our fellow humans and actually make an effort to get to know them.

HERE IS THE BEGINNING OF THE BLACKOUT POEM

When we battle tradition, we sit and watch and experience every part of the world.

I can see flourishing beauty as I reach into the splendor of a fading memory, a memory that my life has become inverted from.

Look back to ancient civilizations, they open the door for something special, something different.

its so rewarding to discover new cultures instead of ourselves.

I wanted to add a picture of one of my own creations to this blog because it really emphasizes my points. I love minestrone soup. Making your own soup is super rewarding and it tastes even better than the ones restaurants make.

I thought this to be appropriate music for a poem about food. So here is some cooking background music.

About me

ethan77777 |

We are not our own any more than what we possess is our own. We did not make ourselves, we cannot be supreme over ourselves. We are not our own masters.

Cryptic, am I right. Let me explain how this quote works. The definition of autonomy is the extent of the ability for a person to make their own decisions. It is to be responsible for the control of oneself, a responsibility that is to be made by the individual alone. We are not our own, plain and simple. The autonomy we have is tainted, it is not pure. If it was pure then society as a whole would be much more selfish and individualist. None of the decisions any of us make are based solely on ourselves. If it was, then we would have no relationships with anybody else because we would entirely lack sympathy and would become isolated. To further this, the human species would be extinct if we had complete autonomy over ourselves. So what is it that taints our autonomy over ourselves? To simply put it, it is the relationships that we have with other people built upon sympathy. The relationships that we have influence our actions so that we are not fully in control of ourselves. We become distracted by the interests of others and begin to let them control us, thus diluting our self governance. How does this happen you may ask? Here is an example: If someone was to trip, our autonomy is hijacked by them when we go out of our way to see if they are okay and offer them help. An autonomous person would ignore them, for there is no benefit in helping someone else when you gain nothing. It is our sympathy and capacity for kindness that surrenders control of ourselves for the interests of others. The opposite is also true though, you also control a portion of the autonomy of everyone else, thus everyone is owned by everyone and no one is completely autonomous. 

Possessions are arbitrary. The fact that people can steal from each other proves that we cannot possess anything as our own. We may own it at the time, but it’s not our’s forever. It is by the agreement of society that we shall not steal that creates this misconception. It is established that stealing is a crime in order to preserve stability in our nation. Ownership is a convention though that many societies, such as the indigenous societies, do not believe in. They were more collectivist, in that society shares everything and that they all own it equally. This is very similar to how we each have ownership over each other and can influence their decisions. 

We did not make ourselves, we were created. How can we possibly be supreme over ourselves if a superior being created us? To be created implies that one smarter than you preceded you. Was the monster superior over himself or was Frankenstein his master? Surely Frankenstein was the master, and had he been responsible, would have guided his creation not into monstrosity, but into harmony. As a creation, you know nothing, you are lost and in need of direction. You are directly dependent on someone else for survival. Picture a baby. Without the mother, the baby will die. So, as a people, we cannot be supreme over ourselves ever because we will always lack knowledge and wisdom that we so depend on. If we were our own masters, what a terrible world we would be. We would descend into selfishness and tyranny, total lawlessness where we never considered the interests of others. The consideration for others is the defining characteristic for a community, its absence its defining failure. 

Now that we have the quote out of the way, we should probably start discussing the whole point of the assignment: ME! If you do not already know, I do not like selfishness. To be selfish is to be ignorant of the needs of others and sadly that is the foundation of our society. If you want to know a couple of my political views you can ask me about consumerism (gag), social media, and politics. Moving on from such gross topics presently.

I love to garden. Flowers fascinate me in every way. I love watching them grow from seed every day, to experience when new leaves sprout up until the first flower. It is just so peaceful to watch and be a part of the creation of life. If this is any hint at all then you should have guessed that I am passionate about the environment. I love hiking and being in Banff, going camping and in general going for walks in nature. It is probably one of the biggest influences in my life because of how much I enjoy it. In my future I would love to live in a small town and abandon the big city. It would be a dream to live by the woods, where I can go for walks at my leisure and sit, in peace, beside a creek. 

You wanna talk about values, well I got a ton of them. I value being genuine. I do not want to be fake to other people and especially do not want them to be fake to me. I appreciate honesty and being able to accept reality and not wanting to change it. Few things are worse than being judged for inconsequential traits about oneself. I may not agree with everyone, but I do my best to like everyone. I also value being able to understand both sides of an argument. This is my aspiration and everyone knows how difficult this can be. We are all so ingrained with our core values that for something to contradict them is unacceptable and, therefore, must be wrong. 

Yet as I write I simply cannot make an omission of the impact my relationships have had on my life. Self proclaimed, I was an introvert right before the pandemic who loved nothing more than hours of silence where I could be in peace with myself. After having lived for six months in this state of loneliness I have been changed to a much more extraverted person than I used to be. This was a pretty dynamic shift in my life because I had never grown up valuing relationships. My parents are not very social so I was not raised among a family that had a lot of friends. We were often by ourselves as a foursome and this had influenced my behaviour when it came to relationships as I grew older. This is a prime example of how strong the influence of a family is and how my social life, including my sister’s, was almost a mirror of my parent’s. It truly has gotten me thinking about how much we are truly responsible for in a society where one’s lifestyle is a mirror of their parents. If we are raised to be like them, where was our choice in it? So would it then be true that one’s autonomy is obsolete as they grow up because they are in control of nothing in their life. Even looking at interests, how much of it was influenced by the parent. I love playing curling, but could it be possible that it was my parents idea and not even my own? I know for a fact that so many kids are put into soccer and hockey during their early years by their parents’ choice. So if that kid who was put in hockey makes it to the NHL, who is actually credited for their success? Is it the parent because they chose to put their kid into hockey and made those decisions for them which influenced their young minds and lives, or is it the kid? Would the kid even have an interest in hockey if his parents did not put them into timbits hockey in the first place. It’s the age old question: which came first the: the kid had an interest or the parent gave the kid an interest? How much of our lives is truly our own if all of our passions are dictated by how we were raised? Is it even ethical for parents to proactively choose passions for their children because it does not let them choose their passions themselves? In my case, I was in skating lessons because my parents signed me up for it when I was seven, I saw the curling arena and became interested in curling from a single window pane. So I chose my passion myself and my parents supported it, which was awesome. Relatively, I have chosen a lot of my passions and ambitions without parental influence compared to other people whose lives are practically already planned out for them. In conclusion I believe that parents have a massive amount of power over the future generation and this is a power that should be used for good, not evil. 

Guys I am also religious and that is significant in my life. This part of my life links really back to the quote that I have chosen because I feel that it almost is the essence of religion itself. It is to believe in a God and to put your faith in him, while denying and sacrificing yourself to become a servant. It is to believe that he is the creator and as such we cannot be our own masters, but must follow his will. I would also point back to the point I was referring to earlier about how everyone in a sense owns everyone else in that in Christianity we are called to become servants to each other. We are to humble ourselves and show love to all those around us, to be generous with our wealth that is not our own. There are many famous quotes, such as love your neighbor as yourself, which speaks to the mission to treat others the best you possibly can. Furthering the quote, we cannot possess anything because everything we have is a gift from God and he can take anything away if it be his will. 

I will conclude with a little chat about consumerism. It sucks. There is a quote from Ghandi that says: “the world has enough for everyone’s needs, but not everyone’s greed,” which speaks volumes to the current issues we see worldwide. Greed is the assailant of satisfaction. Greed convinces you that what you have is not enough and that you need more. So as a result of greed capitalism was born. This is not necessarily a bad thing because I firmly believe that it is one of the strongest economic systems. Tied to the economy is the political system. The more stable the economy is, the more stable the politics are. So we have established that capitalism is great, but that is where my support for it dies. A huge modern branch of capitalism is consumerism. First of all, a person’s happiness should never be based upon possessions. When that happens I believe society has truly devolved to where clothes hold more access to happiness than friends or family do. Secondly, the idea that sales must always rise in accordance with a company’s success is horrible. How do they achieve this you might ask? Here is my answer: brainwashing. They convince you to buy things you do not need and they cause you to become addicted to it. They lie and deceive through manipulation, which is not an ethical business practice. Back to Gandhi, this man is so wise. If we all rose up against the corporations and ended the practice of consumerism then we could save the planet. If we only produced what was needed and did not continue to grow our greed then we would see a sharp reduction of resource extraction and pollution. 

Thank you for reading this most tiresome, supposedly simple assignment. To be honest, this is all opinion based. I have zero statistics to prove any of my points as they are all theories. These are just my thoughts written because I felt like it. To truly know me is to understand that I have many perspectives and love to debate. My family can attest to this, they have to suffer everyday when I argue and debate with them over many of these issues and many more. In addition I was also aiming to achieve the most unique about me blog post. I wanted to write in this style because it feels natural to me and it is not that common. I was also trying to make mine the longest ever. So if my conclusion ends up being in the middle of this post then you will know why. It will be because someone wrote a longer post than me and therefore I had to write many more paragraphs for the sake of having the longest post. Go out into the world and love people and remember to defy the capitalists and refuse to buy your fifty-fourth pair of shoes, even though they are doing their best to tell you that you need them. 

Cheers, The one, the only Lord Driedkale

This is the alias that Ethan Drysdale has chosen to write under to remain anonymous.

Reading Ladder compilation

ethan77777 |

February Reading Ladder

I read the novel Empire of Grass” by author Tad Williams. It has 634 pages. I am also currently reading The Lord of the Rings series which I have had the privilege to begin.

I will start with the math. So February has 28 days in it. I read the first 50 pages of the Lord of the Rings book in addition to the Empire of grass novel. I have not finished that book though, I have only read about 509 pages so far. That would be 559 pages of reading in these 28 days. This would result in about 20 pages per day.

Now you may look at this and be amazed. Well the truth is that this is not based on consistency at all. I like to read in periods, in which there will be periods that I do not read, while there are others that I will be reading a couple hundred pages in a weekend. I am also sorry because I was only to use books that I finished this month but I actually have not finished a book yet so these are my only options for this reading ladder.

So my reading goals are to be a little more consistent. I would like to be reading at a more regular rate than I have been lately.

March Reading Ladder

I read nothing this month.

Reflection

You see, the real story is that I read a couple pages a day but I have not finished any books. I also did not keep track of the pages that I read. I also read a bunch of news articles this month but I did not keep track of the pages. I will not give you any excuses because I simply did not read as much as I should have. I also get really tired when I read. When I read for long periods of time I get drowsy and cannot read any longer.

I do have a plan for my spring break however. I do plan on reading A Gentlemen In Moscow during the break as well as finishing the lord of the rings book one.

April Reading ladder

This month I have read three books.

A Gentleman in Moscow. The book was 462 pages.

I really enjoyed this novel because of the several anecdotes included in it. I really enjoyed the fine details of the novel, but ultimately, I enjoyed the charm of the count. He was clearly written to be a likable character because everything he did was out of good intentions. He was inspiring for sure. The book did not have much plot, but everything in it made it so hooking. I read for hours each day because I simply could not stop reading. It was so captivating.

The second book I finished was the same book that I was reading in February. The empire of Grass, by Tad Williams. There is 633 pages in this book, so since then I have read 124 pages to finally finish the novel. Fantasy books have always been my comfort genre because I love the idea of lore. When an author creates a region with its own unique history and backstories, I am very receptive to them. Sometimes I lose my attention to the actual story because I am so fascinated by the history. Tad William does a great job of that. He spreads the seeds of the past throughout the novel and as I continue to read, I get to learn more about the realms history. I read the original trilogy by the author in grade nine, so it is also nostalgic to finish this series and find out more about the characters I fell in love with four years ago.

Finally I am reading the Lord of the Rings still. It is a very similar genre, if not the exact same as the series I read previous. Tad Williams was likely influenced by JRR Tolkien to write his series because there is a lot of similarities between the two. This month I have read another 56 pages of the first book.

So in total I have read 642 pages in April. Since April has 30 days in it, I would have read 21.4 pages a day. This is significantly better than last month where I basically did not read anything at all. Since I am reading a series now, I will likely become addicted to it and will probably be consistent with my reading statistics.

Reading Ladder of May

I read 200 pages of the Fellowship of the Ring. That is all that I read this month. I have enjoyed this book so far but I am not fully engaged to the point that I feel compelled to keep reading no matter what. It doesnt have the 1984 or brave new world vibe that I love so much,

200 pages divided by 31 days is equal to 6.45 pages per day.

This was not as great as last month but that is not so bad. I know that i will either read a book in a weekend or it will take me a month to read. I have a very big ebb and flow in my reading. I am either addicted to it, not interested or will read for a small amount each day. I am just happy that I am further into the book and the action is starting to pick up. It took forever for that to happen.

Reading ladder of june

This once again has been a slow month of reading for me.

I continued reading the Lord of the Rings book one. I have read 55 pages so far this month putting me at a 55/20 ratio. This means that I approximately read an astounding 2.75 pages per day. That is disappointing, but no unexpected.

Looking into summer, I will be making a habit of reading because I will become so bored if I do not. My summer goals are to finish the Lord of the Rings trilogy. know that s ambitious, but I will be having a lot of free time so it should be achievable.